IT'S APRIL!!!!!!! For those of you who don't know... IT IS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!! YAY! YIPPEE! HOLLA! YESSSSSSSSSSS! (right...back to real life) So for some reason I am not the least bit jazzed about my birthday this year. Honestly it's not anything new... I am always thankful for another year of life, and I know the blessing of having 365 days and nights of new breath, new opportunities, new footsteps...just NEWNESS. But this year I don't feel like celebrating anything. No fancy dinner, party, cake, balloons... Nothing. I have friends who celebrate themselves for the entire MONTH of their birthday... LITERALLY Block out Every weekend in the month because they have a different activity planned. (You know who you are... tee hee) But there is something about this year that has left as excited as a wet noddle about turning the big 2-7. (WOW!! THAT'S GETTING OLD)
I was talking with a friend about it and I REALLY couldn't really figure out why I was so mellow yellow about my day of BIRTH! She thinks I'm nuts! I think when it all boils down, I expected to be at a different place by the time I turned 27. I don't want to celebrate mediocrity... Maybe I'd be Engaged, fully in my career and successful, or maybe travelling to all of the exotic placed on my bucket list. Something significant.. but no... I am still here... uneducated (since I have no paper to document such achievements), working so I can pay my bills and pretend I'm "Doing the Damn thing", Miss independent (In my parents house) I know it seems like I'm bashing myself, but I'm being very honest with myself and my 6 followers (Hey Ya'll). I EXPECTED MORE FOR MYSELF! Am I making my strides?? of course, BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH! I'm tired of crawling and I WILL kick it into high gear. I am fully aware that the race is not given to the swift nor to the strong, but to the one that can endures until the end.. HOWEVER I need to make sure I am putting my best foot, leg, arm, belly rolls, nostril, and whatever else forward. No excuses, not laziness, no lack luster approach to life. It's really time to show up and show out. That's all let me get back to work...
Until we meet again...
(Feeling so blah I won't even change the font color or spell check... so there! )
WOW...I'm almost speechless...BUT not totally! You know what I am going to tell you...GIVE YOURSELF A BREAK! It's common for everyone to have benchmarks for their life and sometimes when we take a look at where we thought we SHOULD be, realize we are there...we beat ourselves up. WRONG WRONG WRONG! Life is about ATTITUDE...in short is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to what happens to us. CELEBRATE YOU every chance you get!
ReplyDeleteI know I'm too hard on myself sometimes I'm just tired of missing the mark. And a lot of my standards I set for myself a created according to OTHER PEOPLE. Also Terrible... I know. Maybe by the time the 29th comes around I'll be in a better place with this. Here's hopin'!
ReplyDeleteI wonder the same thing about myself times. Where am I falling short?? I have to remind myself that more times than not it's my plans that always seem to fall by the wayside... I wonder where I would be if I took more time to consult God on His plans for myself before I started out on another journey.....
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